Retro-Post: The week and a half from you-know-where - Part 2
Because of the way things post to the blog, go back two more posts to the one entitled, "A Look Back" to understand what all this is about. Then read Part 1 and finish here, with Part 2. It will seem weird out of context.Here's part 2 of the story. Again, I actually wrote this a year ago, in May 2013. Thank goodness we have our sweet guy here with us now. Obviously, all turned out to be fine.
Here's part two of our tumultuous beginning to this pregnancy. Again, I'm writing this while it is fresh, knowing it won't be published for a while...
Thursday came, and I went to the doctor by myself. There was no need for Matt to come - they were just going to confirm that the sac was empty and that it wasn't a viable pregnancy. It was terrible walking into the office. There was an awkward moment with the receptionist when she couldn't quite understand my chart and had to ask me if I was pregnant. I think I replied awkwardly that I was, but that it didn't quite work out and this was my appointment to confirm that. It was weird. Anyways, I finally got called into the ultrasound room and I told the tech upfront what the situation was. I didn't know how much she'd know, and I wanted her to know I was prepared for the bad news, so it was ok.
Well, she started the procedure and almost right away she said, "I see a baby with a heartbeat!" My jaw dropped. I had spent the last week and a half convincing myself that it wasn't there, and yet, there it was! I don't know what I said to her - I was just in shock. But she showed me the little blip on the screen and let me listen to the heartbeat and sure enough, there it was. It was amazing. Such a miracle from God! Here was this teeny-tiny babe that we didn't think we had...and yet, there it was. My heart was pounding. She estimated that I was only 6 weeks and 2 days, meaning at the last appointment, I was probably around 4 weeks, which is really, really early. She also gave me an estimated due date of December 17...an almost Christmas baby!
Wow. I couldn't wait to text Matt and let him know. I still had to meet with the doctor and had about a million questions for her, but it really was a miracle, and we couldn't have been happier. Matt was in shock when I texted him, but so happy as well. We were both just honestly dumbfounded because we had spent the last week and a half convincing ourselves that this wasn't meant to be and that we had to move on. And yet, here it was!
The doctor was happy for me and said that it turns out that it was just really, really early last time. I was still very nervous about things, but basically she said that if this had been my first appointment, everything would have been as it should be and that she would have no reason to worry. Of course, it is still very early in the pregnancy and lots of things can happen, but everything was normal and as you would expect it to be at this stage. We made another appointment to come back in two weeks and check in on things. After an awkward chiding from the check-out receptionist ("See, this is why they tell you to wait before you make your first appointment." Really, lady? Actually, no one told me to wait. My last period was out of whack because of the birth control issue and I actually thought I was further along than I thought I was. And even if that wasn't the case, I really don't need you commenting on my situation. Thanks.), I was on my way and Matt and I spent the evening just looking at each other in disbelief. Happy, cautious and anxious. But oh so happy.
So that's where I am now. I have my appointment this afternoon. I should be just over 8 weeks and they should be able to see the babe well with the ultrasound now. Matt is coming with me again. I am very nervous, but excited.
I've been feeling pretty crummy over the last week, so I think that is a good sign. As much as I dislike queasiness, I am so very thankful for it this time around. And, it hasn't been unbearable - just enough to be uncomfortable, but there's been no throwing up or anything. Also, I am famished....all the time. It is weird to be queasy and hungry, but I am. Oh, and my sense of smell has really been crazy. I didn't have that so much with Henry, but it sure is coming on strong this time. I can smell things in the kitchen trash while I am sitting in the den; I had a pack of spearmint gum in my car that I had to throw out because the smell the overwhelming me. It really is weird. Again, I am just so thankful for the symptoms. They give me hope that today will be a good appointment and that all will be well.
I don't mean to be dramatic about all of this, as we are so blessed to have a happy ending. But I had never been through something like that before. Unfortunately, it is fairly common and a lot of women experience it. I am so, so thankful for the way it turned out, and as I keep saying, I know many people go through much worse. But wow, it really was a terrible week-and-a-half, and I hope that we never have to go through something like that again.
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