What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Lady
I've always heard stories about crazy things random people say to you when you're pregnant. I've also heard several funny stories from friends about strangers offering advice or trying to touch your belly. Thankfully, I've not had any of the latter types of experiences...yet. I am sure they are coming. However, there are two things in particular that I find people really want to ask me/tell me about now that I am pregnant. And quite honestly, I am not interested in talking about either one.(Disclaimer: If you are reading this blog, these comments are not directed at you...you are among my closest family and friends and therefore I feel comfortable discussing these things with you and don't mind one single bit if you ask. It is the general acquaintances and co-workers who ask me/tell me about this constantly that really annoy me.)
First, everyone wants to ask me about how much weight I'm gaining (again, let me reiterate - not directed to anyone reading this blog - you may ask me all you want and I will happily share). You would never ask a non-pregnant lady how much weight she had gained, would you?! So why is it suddenly ok to ask me now that I am pregnant? I mean people who don't even know what month my birthday is are now interested in how much weight I've gained. I know it is partly because I am a relatively small girl to begin with and I think they are interested to see how this is all going to go...and that is fine. I am interested in that too...but we can talk about that without having to go into the specifics, can't we? I am fairly confident and try very hard not to worry too much over things like my weight. It is weird now that I am pregnant, to see my body changing before my eyes, mostly out of my control, but it is also totally natural and pretty amazing that it can do all this and grow a human being! So yes, I am gaining weight...if I weren't I would be worried because that would mean that the babe is not growing...but, dear general acquaintance to whom I usually only talk about the weather and college sports, please stop asking me for the specific number of pounds, and then making a wide-eyed face when I tell you the number! Even the most confident girls in the world do not appreciate that.
Second, for whatever reason, people now feel the need to share with me their friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend's birth/miscarriage horror stories. I feel deeply for these people who have had these tragedies in their lives, but I do not know them (and often times, the storyteller doesn't seem to know them directly either), and quite honestly, now is not the time that I want to hear about the terrible misfortunes that have befallen them. I am a great worrier all on my own and do not need any fuel for my imagination. Each day, I have to remind myself that this is all out of my hands and that God is in control and forming and developing our sweet babe in His own image. Bring on the happy stories, but please leave the scary ones out for now. After our healthy, beautiful babe is born, perhaps we can chat about it. But why do I need to hear your worst-case-scenario story while I am in the midst of all of this? Plus, my hormones are all-kinds of crazy these days, so even a story that wouldn't affect me before can really throw me for a loop some days. Ask my dear husband...he's seen the fruits of this phenomenon.
So onward we go in this journey. I am sure that I will have more stories to share with you by the time this is all over. And really, I am grateful that strangers have yet to chime in with their stories and advice. That would be way more awkward that any of this. But please, next time you're hanging out with a pregnant lady, try to avoid these topics. There are so many fun conversations to be had right now, surely you can find something else to chat about!
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